I'm hoping, out of the previous list of problems my tutor picked up on, that the following two are the only ones remaining that I'm having difficulty addressing:
- You still occasionally shove the narrator’s mental state down the audience’s throat instead of thinking about how it can be shown through words and actions.
- You need to take the opportunities to evoke place whenever they arise – it’s still rather mono-modal, stuck inside this very unusual head.
I'm too close to it, haven't worked on the other two and it's already the 7th May. There's no time left to complete this and get working with some Drama students in time for the second week of June. The Arts Festival is a no-no, but I don't feel I can just let this slide - despite the nag of my screenplay, I've got that to write, edit, review, and a 2,000 word essay to write on it before the end of June - I need to understand and show my tutor I can use given crits appropriately without giving up.