My Portfolio from the Qualifying Module

Finally got back my graded work. I think it's pertinent now to have a look at what I'm doing well and not so well:

62% (which in Degree standard is just within the 2:1 boundary... I could have done a lot better by putting more effort into it - oh woe is my ego).

Achievement of Learning Outcomes/Criteria
The strongest piece here is 3,000 words, where it is clear Richard has used the Workshop process extremely well to critically evaluate and improve his writing. All of the work shows some flair, promise (at least I think it's promise) and aptitude, technically good all round. The Fanny and Alexander pieces are pheraps least developed. Richard engaged extremely well with the Workshop process and showed a very good critical awareness of aspects of writing.

How this work might be improved
Development of voice, pace, work on sentence rhythm and structure. Issues more of finish and further iterations of the work, rather than any larger issues.

Performance Report
Richard made an extremely positive contribution to discussions and activities over the course of the week and I was left with the impression that he knew a lot about writing and reading. He has also been a very active moodler since the end of the week.

Richard's work shows a good deal of promise, and he seems aware of what he wants to achieve and ways he might begin to get there. He was very knowledgeable about contemporary literature and I felt he was taking marketing into account when he worked with his ideas, which were also strong.

Richard had read other people's work very well indeed and gave excellent, insightful feedback. He was very open to suggestions about hiw own work too. A very promising candidate

Hand written Note
Writing good throughout - slightly clumsy in places on Fanny and Alexander piece.

Press release is excellent, though, as is the way student has used feedback to produce a much improved piece of prose.

My response to the assessment
Obviously, I'm dead chuffed with this. It's the best bit of feedback I've ever got from any course (erm... well, I did get very good feedback on my Counselling Skills course too). Clearly, I'm able to collect my thoughts based upon crits, and use the best and most workable ideas to improve my writing. I fell down on Fanny and Alexander simply because I didn't put as much effort into it, but shoving the ego aside, I did find it difficult to adapt someone else's story, and match the emotion - but then, no comment has been passed on any inability to hold a reader's emotion - I think I relied too much on adverbs and a few tells in that respect.

My development lies here: "voice, pace, work on sentence rhythm and structure." It is said that "Issues more of finish and further iterations of the work, rather than any larger issues", but at present that is little consolation. As Solvejg said the exact same thing the last time he critted my work, I find this my greatest obstacle.

But at least, let's hope, I'm steady on this one track and I'm not going to flounce off back into some other erroneous area. Next step, to look at Solvejg's full critique on The Library Book's first chapter.

Shell-shocked

Well, I made the 230 round-trip to Birmingham and back last night... whah? Where am I... Sorry, keep dozing off. That was one hell of a journey (both ways). It took 3 hours to get there thanks to the damn roadworks on the A404 leading to the M40. I was stuck for 45 minutes - crikey!

So, I get to the UCE dead on 6, I race to the loo, run to the classroom, find it in use by other people, search the corridor for signs of life, slink back to the admin office, find the note that says go to room D226, and spend the next 5 minutes batting my head against doors and windows (like a blue-bottle) until I get there.

... stagger in, still in my shirt, tie, glasses, shaved head, hands-free kit strapped to my ear, bag on shoulder. I was greeted by Nicola but no one else. They all had their heads down, reading (I'd discover their portfolios). No one smiled, no one spoke... Er, is this the same class?

So, I sat down, looked around... no one looks back. I literally have to stare. Is everyone as knackered as I am? (Maybe they all read my Pattercake post and think I'm an egomaniac!) Anyhoo, it was kind of a functional night, I got 62% on my portfolio with nice words said about my press release and 3,000 word crit re-work (though I let myself down on the Fanny and Alexander pieces - d'oh! Yes, I really could have put in more effort - but honestly, I didn't realise we'd be marked like real degree students... I'd better start taking this shit seriously). I can't remember much of the evaluation, because Nicola took it back, but it's kind of good. Though, back to my old course days at Reading college and I'm desperate to know where in this league of 18 I came (how much did my F & A pieces let me down?)

62% is good (it's a 2:1) but I should be looking to 1st standard now. I'm pissed that I didn't put in more effort. Gah!

Well, we got down to a little bit of workshopping, had a presentation by Nicola about how she feels workshops should work - including (I thought) a little dig at my usual re-write of someone elses work. (Check my Pattercake post). We chatted a little, discussed the pros and cons of the piece she showed us and then all promptly got up at 8pm and left for home... at least, I did. Others went to the pub. Pah! I can't stay there for an extra hour for a drink, I'd never get home. Downside was I wouldn't catch up with them all, and now the group (down from 24 to 18 already) will be factionalised even further - some people will defer to September, others will go onto the other course.

So, I'm already losing buddies - especially the guy who most stood out as being a kindred spirit, and giving some guidance; he'd deferred damn him, but then he was going to do the other course anyway. What's a guy to do?

So, back in the car, left Birmingham at 8:20, and home by 9:50. How'sat? An hour and a half! And I didn't have to fight with the winds that battered me on the way up.

I need sleep!

Focus

I am drifting now between worlds. My life is diverging along separate paths at the moment - at work I am pretending to support the computer systems whilst worrying over whether or not the corporate IT team will come and steal my work and boot me out (they're head of service is the evil cow I had several run in's with during my brother's case). On Litopia I'm feeling less and less inclined to join in, there's nothing happening, and I can't be bothered to invest my time in critting other people's work. Then, of course, there is the new course, the NAW... and I've been moodling on the uni's website quite a lot. But, that's because hardly anyone else is. I guess they're all hurriedly attempting to complete their portfolios!

Well, I've succeeded as far as completing my portfolio for the qualifying module - and I've just got to post it off next week. My ego is telling me, "Hey, despite your angst about getting it done, it was real easy." My problem is that unlike my usual writing, I've thought (deep in my subconscious) that the NAW doesn't need me to exert myself as I have done on Litopia and in pursuing an agent.

It's not that I'm great, as we all know I'm not. Certainly my mentor (Solvey) points out, I've managed to leap (finally) into good writing, but I've yet to distinguish myself by doing something that makes the difference, that separates me from other "good" writers.

After my crits in the NAW workshops I feel I let myself down by entering something I wasn't entirely happy with. I'd been told enough by the Litopians what needed to be fixed, and my NAW's said (amongst other things) a lot of the similar stuff. And there was me assuring myself I was going to stand out from the crowd. Don't get me wrong, it was nice of my tutor (Nicola Monaghan - author of The Killing Jar... I've yet to read it) to tell me that I've got great prose (in places), and the work was clearly highly polished, and also for Charles Bennet (Doctor and poet) to compliment me on my articulation and ability with critiquing my fellow students, but I was hoping to get a few more pats on the back from my contemporaries.

Argh! Curse the ego! I know, I know! It's a good thing to be cut short and keep us from spontaneously combusting with self-love.

I'm not really feeling the love at all - for the second time I've critted someone from the course and the response has been a pleasant: "Your thoughts on my work are nice, but I don't see what you're complaining about, and I'm not going to listen." Which is nice.

So here I am, having finished the portfolio 1 week early - yay - and I'm not going to invest any more time in it, because I somehow know that it's enough just to complete the work to get on the course. Though it'd be ironically funny if it didn't.

So, what must I focus on? Solvejg says I need to stand out, and asks:

• What are you interested in?
• Wonderful, precise characterization?
• Peculiar, disjointed sentences?
• Exaggerated violence?
• Juxtaposed interactions?

Aiye! How do I do that? I'll be taking my "good" 1,000 word story used for my NAW portfolio and add in 500 words... of something... amazing... that'll make it stand out. Which just points to the fact that I'm not going to invest everything into the course! Which is crazy, but it's not going to give me everything I want. I'm heading in a slightly different direction.

Must concentrate, must give it my all... but I'm only going to be getting a little out of it - let's hope not.